Emily.

Firstly, I would like to wish Emily a very happy birthday! I guess 19 is a significant age in Champagne-Urbana, but everywhere else, it sucks. In any event, I hope you are having an awesome birthday.

In honor of Emily's birthday, I would like to dedicate this post to her in its entirety. You see, Emily and I go way back. Not really, but it feels like we do. We both transferred into CJHS sophomore year, and within the first couple months of school, Emily contracted a severe case of mono. She was out of school for a couple months, she was in and out of the hospital, and finally ended up getting her huge tonsils removed. This tonsil extraction yielded some awesome facebook pictures.



With comments such as, "SEXY!!!!" and "are those tonsils or seashells, cause if they're sea shells then they are really pretty, but if they're tonsils thats fucking gross," Emily's tonsils were the talk of the town. Unfortunately, mono is a virus which cannot be cured (as previously stated), and can come with other side effects. Emily's mono came with a side of tonsillitis. Sounds like a dish ordered at a restaurant. Fortunately, my case of mono came with a side of..... Well, I'm really not sure. But something. I guess USE. Would you like fries with that?

Still no word on how I contacted mono- my best guess is still beer pong. Beer pong--for those of you who do not know (i.e. the elderly folk)--is a drinking game where 10 cups of equal size (usually red cups) are set up in bowling pin formation opposite ends of a table. These cups are filled with 1/4 of the way with beer (usually 2-3 beers per 10 cups). Teams of two throw ping pong balls in the cups on the other side of the table. If a ball lands your opposing team's cup, they have to drink that cup of beer. Whoever clears the opposing team's cups first, wins. That is pretty much the gist of it.

Many a round is played. Many a cup is shared. Many a mono is passed. That pretty much sumeth it up.

I recognize that many friends have asked for shoutouts. Your time will come my friends...

J-Mono. Out.

Big News!

I was told by a doctor at UHS that 30 days is the pretty standard length of time from when you first start feeling symptoms, to being not contagious (they pretty much said proceed with caution) to playing sports and what not. It is still being double checked with two more doctors..

In other news, I have a huge psych test tonight which is going to rape me, and my spleen feels fairly large. I am aware that there is no connection between my psychology exam and my large spleen (LS), but I feel like I probably should add something about mono in that sentence.

Spleenformation (Spleen information. Not, the formation of a spleen):

When a person has mono, the spleen becomes enlarged for whatever reason (ask the spleen gods). The unfortunate thing about uncontrollable spleen enlargement (USE) is that it you have to stop playing contact sports. Now, I for one am not such an athlete myself; however, I was (note the past tense) enrolled in a beginners racquetball course and recently had to drop it due to my USE. If I were to continue playing racquetball with a LS, than the LS could rupture (if hit by a racquetball, racquet, or being yelled at by my former manly female racquetball instructor) and cause serious pain and hospitalization.

Now if the congregation can please rise and join me in a prayer to the psychology gods...

Quick Shoutouts

This is just going to be a quick post because I have tons of shit to do tonight and in the next few days. I just wanted to give a shoutout to my friend Alicia. Although she has never had mono, she has had chickenpox. Also a big shoutout to Emily at U of I. There will be a bigger post dedicated to her soon. But until then, happy almost birthday.

The Beginnings of My Mono

So I'm not sure who I got mono from, when I got it, where I got it- I have no idea. Beer pong is the best theory out there thus far (props to Hannah for that theory.) I started feeling sick about two and a half weeks ago or so (runny nose, headaches, just overall not feeling well), and I now know that the symptoms of mono set in 30-50 days on average after first being in contact with the virus. It got worse. I went to UHS (which apparently is covered under our tuition- hell yeah. can anyone say free(ish) healthcare?) and I was pretty sure I had strep throat. The nurse basically said it could be that or mono. I was practically begging for it to be strep because, in my mind, that was the lesser of two evils. Strep can be healed with nice doses of amoxicillin, whereas mono is viral, so the person (me) has to wait until his/her (my) body fights it off- which can take anywhere from 3 weeks to 8 weeks.
Until then, I am not allowed to play sports and consume alcohol, and I just have to take it easy and eat healthy to help my body get rid of this social plague on its own. I actually was enrolled in a beginners racquetball course this semester which I had to drop. The nurse at UHS said that "I could drink alcohol in moderation if (and only if) I was feeling alright." I guess that's a reasonable statement to say to a college student. At least she was being realistic... I applaud her.
I've been home for more than 48 hours and feeling a lot better than before I got here. Homemade food, seeing the dog, sleeping in my bed...yeah that all seemed to do the trick. Hopefully the fevers, headaches, runny nose, hot/cold flashes, cough, sore throat, and sickness will stay at home, and not follow me back to Madison tomorrow.
Until then, goodnight.

First Post!

Hey all. This will be an interesting blog. I somehow contracted mononucleosis (dubbed "the kissing disease") at some point in the past 40-60 days (according to a pamphlet provided by University Health Services.) This blog (reminiscent of a monologue, which can also be seen as "mono-log" (a journal of my case of mononucleosis)... creative, eh?) was an idea created while on a trip home from the University of Wisconsin (Madison) where my mom thought it would be funny to blog about my mono. She thought a good name for the blog would be "monotheism" or something to that effect. I said, fuck that, monoblogue is better.

Although this is known as "The Daily Monoblogue," I will not be blogging daily. Unfortunately, I am a college student and I do not have sufficient time to blog about mono (I will be sleeping for some of my free time), but I'll try and post every so often.

Welcome and enjoy!